


Nightflight

by Tantaylor



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor
Summary: When you^re trapped in a plane with your crush





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recently started to translate my very first fics. This one was written and takes place during Astronaut era.
> 
> I really had fun to read all this again!
> 
> As always, english is not my native tongue and there^s no beta.

She still can't believe it! Finally she makes the dream come true! Against all contradictions and external circumstances! Airport Frankfurt, 10 p m . She has already checked in. Thai Airways to Bangkok...from there on to Sidney. Then to Auckland, New Zealand. New Zealand! Her fav country.  
A few years ago she had been there before, with her husband, quarrels and misunderstandings had influenced this trip negatively. This time it is different, she is alone! All alone! And she will remain alone on this journey! She will hike along the Milford Track, for days and weeks! Only her! No phone, no computer, no other people. Only her! And a good old writing pad with a pen.  
After all the events of the last years she wants to know what is left of her, when she is alone with herself, in this country, with which she fell in love already immortally at first sight-  
She is nervous. Will everything go well? Won't she get afraid at night, alone?  
There are no wild, dangerous animals in New Zealand. She will spend the night in wooden huts. Maybe even, if she dares, out in the open. Is she afraid to be alone with herself? Afraid that maybe there's nothing left of her when there's no one to tell her she's really there?  
So much self-doubt she wants to eliminate by this trip, once and for all ! Three weeks nothing but peaceful surroundings.  
A speaker announcement, it^s boarding time. Shaking her head she watches the crowd pouring to the gate. Everyone wants to be the first! As if there were no reserved seats! She stays seated, breathes deeply. Now it starts. No way back now! One last SMS ? No!!!! No more contact to anyone at home! So she swore to herself!  
The mobile phone stays off!  
Finally she sits in the plane and looks suspiciously at the people around her. Well, the flight goes to Bangkok, one has certain prejudices! Sex tourism and such.  
The stewardesses are beautifully dressed in traditional costumes and a voice announces that they still have to wait for a passenger who is late.  
She sits at the window, the two seats next to her are free.  
She is tired and closes her eyes. Since 6 this morning she is already on her feet.  
A friendly voice wishes her a good evening in English, and someone sits next to her. The delayed passenger. She doesn't open her eyes, but greets back.  
Her neighbour wants to know "Fear of flying, like me?“  
She shakes her head, on the one hand to answer the question and on the other to dispel fatigue.  
" Just tired"  
The plane rolls off, and she looks out the window. Apparently the man next to her is really afraid of flying as he inhales hard. She turns to him to see if he^s ok.  
Now he has closed his eyes and holds the armrests of the seat so tightly that his knuckles are all white.  
He is in his mid-forties, his hair is already visibly grey. Long eyelashes, striking facial features. Now it is up to her to inhale violently. That CAN'T be! She must be dreaming! Or she has strange hallucinations because of all her tiredness and nervousness!  
People like him don't fly Economy! And they certainly don't just sit next to her by accident!  
Apparently he feels her gaze. He looks at her with a strained smile." God, I hate flying" he explains in a voice that is not quite firm.  
She cannot answer. And she can't look away.  
» Hey, don't worry, I don^t have to throw up or something, huh? I'm just nervous! If we are in the air, I^ll be fine. It is only the take-off...well, and the landing! And turbulences aren't very calming either!“   
How sweet is he!  
She's still staring at him. It's really true! He's sitting next to her! And he'll sit next to her for about nine hours...or was it 11?  
It would really make sense to finally open her mouth and say something funny and intelligent before he thinks she's debile!  
She clears her throat: " Eh...don't panic. Nothing will happen! And if it does...at least we wear sneakers!"  
He looks at her without understanding, looks at his shoes, then at hers.  
„Well, if we crash and our dead bodies are laid out in a gym, we are at least dressed appropriately! »  
" UH!“ he snorts and grins broadly. " THAT is really reassuring!"  
" Where are you traveling to?" she wants to know, glad to have found her voice again.  
His gaze shows a mixture of confusion, fear and amusement.  
" This plane flies to Bangkok, doesn't it? If not, I have a problem now".  
"Yes, it goes to Bangok, but it could be that you^ll fly on...to Australia"  
Or New Zealand, maybe?  
"No, thank God I only have to go to Bangok! One take-off, one landing!"  
Now they are in the air.  
He smiles at her.  
" Hey, that was good! I didn't have time to be worried! It's nice to be able to talk to someone!" He holds out his hand ." Now that we're going to spend some time together... my name is Roger!"  
„I know!“ She giggles and shakes the offered hand. "Leah! I'm very happy, Roger!"  
You have no idea how happy I am, man! Roger! Holy fuck!   
His hand feels slightly damp, but his handshake is pleasantly strong.  
"So, Leah, Bangkok is not your final destination if i got that right Where is the journey going?"  
" To Auckland."  
"Excuse the perhaps too intrusive question...why is someone flying alone halfway around the  
world? Are you visiting someone there?"  
"No, I don't visit anyone, I search for someone, so to speak.“  
" That must be very important to you, if you take such a marathon on yourself! "  
Suddenly she is embarrassed to have answered like that. How can she explain to him, of all people, that she is looking for herself?  
„ Eh..I ...I just want to be alone with myself there .Far from everything, as far as possible.“  
"Escape from the everyday life?" he wants to know.  
Damn, he is pretty curious! That worries her, and at the same time she likes it. Obviously he really wants to talk to her beyond small talk.  
"Sort of. I like New Zealand and I always wanted to hike the Milford Track. My husband...ex-husband...thought the idea was stupid when we were there a few years ago. And I think it^s even better to be done alone.“  
"To see what's left of you when you're alone with yourself?"  
She has to laugh. Exactly recognized! Really scary, this conversation!  
She suddenly becomes aware of to whom she is talking . Somehow it's all weird right now! She feels like in a daydream or a fanfiction.  
He misunderstands her silence.." Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you! We can talk about the weather if you prefer that!“  
"No, no, Roger! That's all right! I...am just...uhm...a little irritated!"  
" Why that?"  
She thinks for a moment. She^s sitting next to Roger Taylor. Her first love. Her teenage dream. In an airplane...he can't run away, and she can't either. So, why not tell the truth? What does she have to lose?  
„ Because you're Roger!" she says and feels her face flushing " Because I just don't understand at all, that ...oh damn! Why don't you fly first class and why are you sitting next to me and why… « she stutters and is all the way embarrassed.  
He laughs quietly.  
"I don't fly first class because there were no free seats. I am sitting next to you because THIS is my seat. And why what?“  
This man is really nice! He still would be nice if his name won^t be Roger Taylor!  
" Why...I mean...I apologize, I feel really stupid right now! But … I'm totally tired and nervous and then Roger Taylor sits next to me and talks to me about self-discovery! That's completely surreal When I was twelve, I talked to your poster!"  
" That will have been a very one-sided conversation!"  
She looks at him inquiringly. Does he make fun of her?  
He answers her gaze. The eyebrows slightly raised, the eyes clear and sparkling. A discreet smile hangs in the corners of his mouth. No superimposed one. Funny, but not mocking.  
"You bet! A one-sided conversation! Many one-sided conversations! What you can't say about this one!"  
"You're not twelve anymore and I'm not a poster!"  
« One would probably arrest me, I would be 12 and would stick a poster next to me on the seat, which I would then tell of my silly dreams » she chuckles.  
"Dreams, Leah, are never silly! Dreams are something very important and beautiful! if you won^t forget reality that is ! »  
" Wise words, Mr. Taylor!"  
The stewardess comes by with the drinks and Roger orders coffee for them both and two prosecco.  
Eleven hours! It takes eleven hours to Bangkok!  
They toast, with plastic cups.  
She would like to smoke.  
"What would I give for a cigarette now" sighs her seat neighbour.  
" You're creepy, Roger!" giggles Leah." You say what I think!"  
" I'm not a poster!"  
"No, thank God not! And can you please stop talking about the poster thing? I'm embarrassed!"  
„Don^t be!I feel flattered!"  
" I don't think it's flattering to get the soul suffering of spectacled pimply teenagers cried in paper ears! "  
" I couldn't hear anything! And paper is patient!"  
" Yes, this paper has been very patient for many years!"  
"What did you tell the poster? He crosses his arms behind his head and grins at her.  
" I won't tell you that!" She turns red again.  
" Too bad! So tell me why you're looking for loneliness!"  
" That's hard to explain and probably takes hours! I don't want to bore you!"  
And besides I do not want to make a complete idiot of myself !

After all, he is a stranger! A well known stranger. Argh. She is still confused.  
"Well, we do have a few hours, don't we? And I am not bored"  
"Not yet!" she sighs.  
"Imagine me being a poster!" he grins  
" But that would be a very one-sided conversation again!"  
"Touche! Leah, we still have to sit here for quite a while, and chance has placed us next to each other! I find this very pleasant! So why shouldn't we use this time sensibly?"  
"Well, Roger, I find that also pleasant...and that is, to be honest, an exorbitant understatement! But, and I'm honest here too...it's not really easy for me to talk to you about very personal things!"  
"Maybe it will help if I tell you something about me? Quid pro quo?"  
He doesn't let go! The feeling that he really seems to be interested in her only makes her more confused.  
"Ok, Roger! Tell me why you^re going to Bangkok!"  
"I'm going on vacation with my daughter. I'm really looking forward to it! We haven't had much time together lately!"  
"Where is she, your daughter? Already there?“  
"No, she's still in England and will be leaving in 2 days. The school holidays have not started yet".  
"And your sons? They won^t be in Bangkok?"  
" The older one doesn't like to go on vacation with his old father anymore, the small one is with his mother!"  
" Do you see your children often? "  
" As often as I can, what was unfortunately not quite so often in the last weeks! "  
" Tour and such, I see!“  
" Have you seen a show?"  
" Several!"  
" If I had seen you, I would have invited you for a drink! " he winks at her.  
"I probably would have run away from you! I saw you in Birmingham in the Hyatt at the reception. But there were all those horrible chicks running around screaming at you, and I didn't want to be thrown in the same pot with them! Besides, you were..." she coughs up..." in female company!"  
He tilts his head and looks at her for a long time without saying anything. She starts to feel strange under this look, restlessly sliding back and forth on the seat. What is he thinking?  
"HA!“ he suddenly blurts and she shrugs.  
« Huh ? »  
« Hyatt! Yes! You sat on the pedestal with a redhead! You were wearing a black costume! »  
She is stunned! Either he just guessed right by chance or he can actually remember her! How is that possible?  
"So you saw me and you didn't invite me for a drink! Always those false promises! » she tries to play cool, still not believing that he really remembers her.  
"I had to go to the airport. Leah! And besides, my...uh...female company wouldn't have loved it for sure!"  
" Oh come on, Roger! That was just a guess now, wasn't it?"  
"No, it wasn't! Do you know why I remember?"  
" I am curious!"  
" You laughed so nicely! And you had a milk beard from the cappuccino! I thought it was cute "  
Okay, he didn't guess! She had been sitting there, in a black costume, with her red-haired girlfriend Sybille, and she had been drinking cappuccino! Great, she had a milk beard! And he found that cute! Oh goodness! ! Embarrassed she plunges down the rest of the sparkling wine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quid pro quo

The need for a cigarette becomes unbearable.  
She just doesn't know where to put her hands. Coffee and champagne are empty by now. That's good, because somehow her fingers tremble a bit and if there^d be any liquids left, she^d most likely spill it all over herself.   
Jeez, a cute woman with a milk beard on her face! She really didn't want to be in his memory as a milk-bearded idiot. And there’s something else that bothers her, something she can^t get a hold of.  
There is a silence between them, which is somehow very loud in her head. The rescue appears in the form of a stewardess handing out the food. Roger chooses chicken. She would have liked to have taken it, too, but somehow doesn't want to give the impression that she is imitating him.  
So she takes pasta, vegetarian. She eats in silence , keeping her eyes on the tray and is annoyed that she has lost her tongue.  
It's really wonderful that he actually remembers you, Leah! What the hell is your problem?  
Then she notices what has bothered her and she holds on to the thought until Roger puts his cutlery on the tray , wiping his mouth with a napkin.  
She carefully takes a sip of wine, just about to talk to him when he begins to speak first.  
"Did you like it?"  
" Yes, not bad for a plane meal!"  
" That's right, and the wine is good. Shall we order more?"  
" Why not?"  
Instead of pressing the button for the cabin crew, he gets up and goes to get the drinks, which she thinks is kind of nice. There's nothing arrogant about him, no popstar behaviour. She watches him closely as he comes back, walking down the aisle. A little insecure with the two cups in his hands. He's pretty small for a man. His legs are...well, somehow short. He doesn't look any younger than he is , there are quite a lot of wrinkles. His temples are gray .  
Smiling he slides next to her into the row of seats. His eyes...his eyes are beautiful! So is his smile! And...those arms! Oh yes! The arms!  
„I hope I did reasonably well on your full-body scan.“ he grins and she feels caught.  
"Er…was it that obvious ? Oh god! Sorry! Yeah, you^re still a pleasure to look at, to be honest. Your hair is getting grey ! »  
He sighs over-dramatically, what makes her laugh.  
„I^m getting old, huh? Do you think i should dye my hair?“  
"Hm...no! Roger... I wanted to ask you something personal. Just a thought I had, you might think it^s pretty silly and way too private!“  
" Ask!"  
" So...in the Hyatt...your female companion..."  
" Was an affair"  
" I ask because...it struck me that you didn't call her a girlfriend. Probably you're just declaring me stupid ,but the way you talked about her...kind of bothered me...Oh, forget it, it^s none of my business, sorry!“  
He looks at her once again with this well readable facial expression, this mixture of confusion, amusement and interest. Fear is not there this time.  
" Probably you noticed that she didn't mean anything to me! "  
« Why do you deal with women who mean nothing to you? » Leah looks at him almost provocatively, wondering where she got the nerves from.  
"Quid pro quo, Leah! Why are you so eager to be alone?"  
"Because...maybe because it won't work out with..well, men ...and I wonder if it's me!"  
" You are divorced?"  
"Yes  
" Kids?"  
"Yes! Two, a girl and a boy. But now it's your turn!"  
" I'm divorced, I have children!"  
"I know. The female company, Roger. It was just about her!"  
"Why do I deal with women who don't mean anything to me? Maybe because then you can't get hurt!“ Roger says honestly.  
" Did you get hurt?"  
„Yes. It hurt me that the person I loved did not understand me. Did not want to understand me!“  
"I know the feeling. I felt more alone with my husband than I do now.“  
"Looks like we had something in common!I gave up everything for her at that time and I loved it because I loved her . But she was just never satisfied ! I never expected a thank you, but understanding would have been nice!  
" We^re talking about Giovanna here, aren^t we? Did you leave Duran because of her?“  
"Not really! All that show bizz was never mine. I always just wanted to make music, but with Duran it wasn't about the music any more, I just wanted to get out of the hustle and bustle, that's the first thing my wife didn't understand! So I bought this property in the country, built me a small studio in the basement and simply tinkered with friends a little. We made advertising jingles and children's rhymes and all sorts of things. She found that silly. Then James was born and for some years it was really wonderful.The hype about DD was fading and I was thinking about going back, but she freaked out completely as soon as I mentioned it. She called me selfish and yelled that I just want to go back for groupies and drugs but I just wanted to drum properly again, it's so much more fun on stage than in a basement....and I also missed my friends. Charlie, John, Andy and Nick. I missed their company. Very much.“  
Somehow Leah feels that there is much more than he says. Something very deep.  
The Roger next to her is no longer the* Poster Roger*. She likes him. Because he's very nice and incredibly honest, not because she's had a crush on his picture since she's 12.  
« But you rejoined for the Thank-you-album. »  
"That was a compromise. No live gigs, no plans for a tour at all! Somehow it just made it worse! I thought I could handle it, but...hell, I want a cigarette!"  
"Me too!"  
"Wait a minute!"  
He gets up and goes to the crew in the back of the cabin next to the toilets. Leah straightens up a little to see what he's doing. He talks to the pretty stewardess. Points into her, Leahs, direction.  
The flight attendant giggles and turns red. Something, probably money, changes from Roger's trouser pocket into the woman's hand.  
Then he returns to his seat with a broad grin on his face." Come on" he says and pulls her up.  
"What? Where..."  
" Don't say anything, just come with me!" He doesn't let go of her hand, almost drags her through the corridor, past the crew members who grin just as broadly, and pushes her into one of the toilet chambers. Behind them he locks the door.  
" What is this now?" she^s all confused.  
" You wanted to smoke...here we can smoke! " In peace of mind he digs cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket, still grinning.   
" Roger! We can't do that! You didn't tell the flight attendant we were going to smoke here, did you?"  
Roger says "no" and giggles.  
"And you know what it looks like...I mean...we both...together...here!"  
" Yes, yes! Quite!"  
"Fuck, Roger ! What did you tell the crew ? »  
" That we need a little privacy. And the friendly lady has promised me for a small sum to make sure that nobody disturbs us!"   
" YOU ARE MAD!!!!! ROGER! Now they all think we're going to have sex in an airplane toilet? Are you nuts?“  
" Sex on airplane toilets is not forbidden in contrast to smoking!"  
" You can't... " She has turned bright red. How could he dare! She is incredibly angry and deeply embarrassed. Out of here ! I have to get out of here !  
He rushes forward and reaches for her arm before she can open the door.  
"Leah! Let people think what they want! Or is the idea of having sex with me so horrible that you're ashamed of it?"  
" The idea of having sex on a TOILET is disgusting!"  
" But we're not having sex on the toilet!"  
" But they all think that!"  
" We know it's not like that. Can we smoke now or what? "  
" But...but. there^s a smoke detector!" she stammers.  
" is a dummy! Believe me! I always smoke on airplane toilets! And now relax and smoke!" He lights two cigarettes. Her anger goes up in smoke, so to speak, and actually the situation has something deeply funny about it.  
„I bet the crew's overhearing us.“ Leah chuckles.  
"Sure! I'd do that, wouldn't you?“ Roger grins „Shouldn't we offer them something? We can make some nice noises.“  
„You mean, something like this?“ She knocks on the wall, as if a body would bounce against it. A body, which in this narrow cabin is repeatedly knocked against the wall by hard thrusts…Goodness ! Wrong thought ! Definetly wrong thought !  
« Wow, Leah! Can't we kiss a little first? That doesn't make any noise after all! »  
Kissing. Kissing Roger. He^s joking, he^s just joking!  
"I didn't think you'd be cuddling on airplane toilets for long, you'd have fast sex. It's not very comfortable in here!" she says, well aware of the tremble in her voice. It's so damn narrow in here!  
« I think you should always have time to kiss. Kissing is beautiful.“ Roger smiles.  
"Ok, you're right!"  
They look at each other. He^s so close! She^s about to have an heart attack at any minute. The thought of kissing him doesn^t go away.  
Leah, don^t be silly! We^re here to smoke. Nothing more!  
Roger sits at the toilet seat and still grins at her with an outrageous broad smile. She knows that her ears are glowing and she hopes very much that he can’t read her mind.  
"Don't look at me like that" she hisses  
" Why not? Does it make you nervous?"  
"Yes!  
" Why?"  
" Can you please stop asking so much?"  
" Who^s turn is it?“"  
" Huh? With what?"  
" With the quid pro quo-thing.“  
"It's my turn to ask!" Leah explains.  
" Oh, what was your last answer?"  
" That I find sex in toilets disgusting! "  
" But that wasn't the answer to the question I asked! "  
Her brain is rotating. That's right! He had asked if the idea of having sex with him would be so terrible!  
But after that he had asked if they couldn't kiss a little first...which of course was meant to be fun! Wasn^t it?  
"I get claustrophobia in here" she evades.  
"Smoke another one! That calms down immensely!“  
Yes. Smoking. All right! Smoking! Nothing but smoking! That's the only reason they're in here! She shouldn't be so insecure!   
" I may ask now, right? "she says  
"No, wrong! I'm still waiting for the answer to the last question!"  
"The last question was whether we could not kiss a little first, because there must always be time for kissing. And I said, yes, you're right! So it's my turn now!"  
"But we haven't kissed yet!"  
" I do not kiss in toilet cabins!“  
"You said SEX in toilet cabins is disgusting! Is kissing sex for you?“"  
" IT'S MY TURN TO ASK!"  
" IS kissing sex ?"  
" No. But kissing can be...better than sex! Have you had sex in airplane toilets?"  
"Neither had I sex nor have I kissed on airplane or other toilets!“  
When did this conversation actually start to get so fucking intimate?  
" But it doesn't bother you that the charming stewardesses now think that we are doing both of it in here right now?"  
"No! Why does it bother YOU then?"  
" Because I don't think of myself as the kind of woman who gets fucked by some pop stars in toilets!"  
"So you think the idea of having sex with me is horrible?"  
"My God, Roger! Don't twist my words! I never said that I would find it horrible to have sex with you! I said, I .... "   
Shit!   
He smiles smugly. She takes a deep breath: " That's mean, Roger, and you know it!"  
" I like the game!"  
" I don^t !"  
" Why don't you go out then? "  
" Because I want to smoke!"  
He lights two more cigarettes.   
„ And why am I mean? "  
"Because you know that your stupid poster stuck to my wall for years. Because you know I was on shows recently, because... because you know you're fucking making me nervous ! I^m a bloody fan, goodness! And you^ve always been my favourite! »  
" Did you kiss the poster, Leah?"  
Okay, that's enough. She's got to get out of here! Again he's faster, his hands grab hers before she can unlock the door.   
He holds her hands tight, very tight. And he stands right in front of her. Very close in front of her! "Honest answer, Leah! Honest answer, honest game! Did you kiss the poster?"  
"Jesus Christ! YES! Damn it, yes! I was 12 years old! I was in love with you! Yes, I kissed that stupid poster! Happy?"  
She can feel his breath on her skin. Help! I want to go to New Zealand, I want to be alone...  
She is unable to move, to look away from the man who is as close to her as his picture on the wall was every evening over twenty years ago.  
There you flee from all the confusion that life and love bring with it, to the end of the world, and then...!  
"I thank you for your honesty, Leah," he whispers, and she can not only hear his words but also feel them.“ I would very much like to kiss you now, but you find that disgusting!“  
"Stop playing with me, Roger! Please! I am completely confused, I do not know what to do!“  
" What do you want, Leah?"  
"I DON'T KNOW! Get away from me!"  
He lets her go and sits down on the toilet again.  
"I'm sorry, Leah! Really! It's just...I feel somehow very close to you!"  
" Is that the clever euphemism for I want sex?"  
" Leah!"  
" Roger!"  
"I'm trying to be honest, Leah!"  
" Me too, Roger! Is that the skilful paraphrase for I want sex? "  
"No. It means exactly what I said! You are...strange, Leah!"  
" That's what I call a compliment!"  
« Something is happening here, Leah, since this plane took off! Don^t tell me you can^t feel it ! I'm not unfolding my life in front of everyone, Leah! You are very special! And believe me, that makes me as nervous as you are. It is... »  
" Confusing!" she sighs.  
"Yes. Very!   
" What do we do with it, Roger? "   
"Go back, have a drink, talk on?"  
"Deal!“  
" Quid pro quo, Leah?  
" Yes!"   
" No games, promised.“  
" No. Only honesty!"  
He gets up and they're grinning at each other a little awkwardly. Hesitantly she stretches out a hand and ruffles his hair.  
„We should look a bit desolate, after all we just had wild sex in an airplane toilet!“ Leah says quietly.   
"Does it look like that when you've just had sex in the toilet?“ He looks at himself in the mirror.   
" I don't know, but I always have messy hair when I had sex!"   
" Me too!"   
And while they, grinning and giggling, go back to their seats, past chuckling stewardesses in beautiful traditional costumes, his hand reaches for hers and gently squeezes it. It's half past three .7 hours to Bankgkok.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It tingles

The stewardess, the one who just got money from Roger, distributed blankets and pillows. Leah and Roger lifted the armrests between their seats and folded down the backrests. Coffee is in front of them.  
When they reached their seats again after the peculiar trip to the toilet, he had let go of her hand and since then no one has touched the other that^s about 15 minutes.They haven't spoken for that long either. It's not an unpleasant silence. Rather an excited waiting. They both want to embark on this journey, the journey to explore who they are.  
They smile at each other.  
"You just said something very interesting, Leah." Matchball Roger, qiod pro quo goes into the next round.  
They know whatever the other one is going to say, it's going to be the truth. No matter what it's about, there's something solemn about it.  
" What do you mean?"  
"You said kissing could be better than sex!"  
" Isn't that so?"  
Roger leans back and audibly blows out the air.  
"A kiss is a promise that sex often doesn't keep." he says slowly.  
"A kiss is decisive, and sometimes the decision you make is wrong! You said something beautiful too, Roger! That there must always be time to kiss! »  
"I could never have sex with someone who isn^t a good kisser! It says a lot about a person, the way he kisses!"  
"Wait...this is a few statements too much at once! You could never have sex with someone who doesn't kiss GOOD? Define GOOD KISSING!"  
" I can't define that! It just has to feel good and right! It has to feel real!"  
"Ok, yes...and let's say, it feels good and right and real...MUST you have sex?" Leah leans closer to him, so that she does not have to speak so loudly. Many people sleep in the plane.  
"No, of course not, but...a kiss that feels like this is very erotic! And the longer it lasts, the more difficult it becomes to limit yourself to kissing alone!" Roger explains.  
"Hence your formulation that a kiss is a promise...what does a kiss promise you? Does it promise you that more will happen?"  
" At a certain point it does, yes!"  
"That's a pity!"  
" A pity ? You think ? Why so ?"  
"Because from this point on, and yeah, I know this point, it^s actually no longer a kiss, mentally, because you think of what may happen further! And what happens further is not always what the kiss has made you hope!“  
"My speeches, dear Leah! The kiss promises what the sex does not keep!  
"Yes, and then you would wish that you had left it at kissing, because kissing was absolutely wonderful, but the rest wasn't! And that's exactly why kissing is sometimes better than sex!"  
"Which you rarely know beforehand!" sighs Roger.  
"Hmhm! I have never regretted a kiss, but sex, oh well, quite often ! »  
" Every kiss you got was wonderful?"  
"By no means! But if the first lip contact does not tingle, one does not continue anyway, so there is nothing to regret! »  
He laughs quietly. « Well, I think it can happen a lot before it even comes to the first lip contact...what a delicious formulation, Leah....I mean, it should tingle already before, otherwise you don't even get the idea to kiss someone! So seen in this way you could definitely regret, if it doesn't tingle when you kiss! »  
„ When exactly does it actually start to tingle?" It started here hours ago, but she doesn't say that.  
"That is different, I think. Sometimes it starts when you look at someone for the first time, sometimes when you hear the voice of the person for the first time. Sometimes it's a word, a movement...I think the beautiful thing is that the tingling is not predictable!"  
"I don't always think it's beautiful! Sometimes it's just somehow inappropriate! I mean, sometimes it tingles for people you don't want it to tingle!"  
Someone should count how often the word *tingle* had been used in the last few minutes, Leah thinks, and it tingles insanely! Maybe they should have talked about the weather!  
"Can you remember the first tingling, Leah? The first tingling of your life?"  
" As if it had been yesterday!"  
" Was there a mutual tingling?"  
She laughs." No! Definitely a very one-sided one!"  
" Leah, the boy must have been an idiot!"  
God, I'm about to get hysterical!  
" No, you can't say that like that!"  
" What was the trigger? Why did it start tingling?"  
" There was probably a connection between the awakening of the female sexual maturity and the unconscious longing for a lot of testosterone!" "  
He laughs. It's the first time she hears him laugh out loud, and it sounds very nice.  
"How old were you then?" he wants to know, wiping tears of laughter from the corners of his eye.  
„I was twelve.“  
Well, is the penny dropping?  
"Oha! I didn't know that boys that age already produce a lot of testosterone!"  
"I said, I was twelve! Not him!“  
" How old was he then?"  
" In his early twenties!" He doesn't understand!!! He has no clue that she^s talking about him here.  
"Well well, that makes things difficult of course! Where did you meet him?"  
I get the final laughter attack right away and will never arrive in New Zealand, because I get a heart attack here! Let's see when he finally understands, Leah is thinking. Where did she meet him, that man in his early 20s who is now in his 40s and is sitting next to her.  
" In a magazine store!"  
He looks at her from the side, and for a moment she thinks he has finally understood.  
"And why him?"  
Has he understood or has he not?  
" I don't know, because he embodied all that a man had to embody for me, back then!"  
"And that would be?“  
DID HE UNDERSTAND OR DID HE NOT?  
"Strenght .Security .Good looks. And the thing with the testosterone, i think ist called masculinity!"  
"Must be a great guy..." the plane makes a little jump and Roger becomes white around the nose. A voice announces over loudspeakers, one may strap oneself please, it is to be counted on a few small turbulences. Said stewardess comes by and collects the coffee cups, in which the coffee has long become cold.  
"Oh please ! Is that really necessary ? ? No, it doesn't have to be that way! "His voice sounds miserable.  
"It is only turbulences Ro....uh!" Again a jump, not really a small one.  
Roger becomes white. Completely white. So white that she's afraid he'll pass out.  
"Go on, Leah, please! What did he look like?"  
He wants to grab the armrest, but it's folded up, and instead his cramped hand is now lying on her thigh. And there's nothing erotic about it right now, but it's a sign of real desperation. She puts her hand on his. She looks at the terrifyingly pale face, in which the dark eyes seem unnaturally big.  
"He had wonderful dark, almost black hair, hair that you just want to touch because you have to know what it feels like, and eyes...eyes so deep and unfathomable that you want to spend hours just looking in! And..."  
She swallows violently. There is a huge lump in her throat. „Arms! Arms, so muscular, so strong that you want them around you, that you want to fall asleep in them and wake up on every single day of your life!“  
Again a jump, and this time she^s close to panic either. Are this really only harmless turbulences? She hopes he won^t notice her fear, because right now she is the one with the strong arms! She puts those arms around his shoulders, stroking his hair in a way she thinks of as soothing.  
„He had ..“she grins while she almost cries at the same time „he had a damn sexy butt in an insanely exciting pair of leatherpants and no one else but him had the right to wear those gruesome frote sweatbands! And his lips...I spent nights imagining what it would be like to kiss those lips! And..."  
She laughs helplessly, but it sounds more like a sob.  
"Please forgive me those thoughts in consideration of my tender age...., that, which was in front in the mentioned leatherpants, brought my just awakened hormone mess to boil At all I find, the wearing of sweaty muscle shirts in the presence of pubertal teenagers has to be forbidden ! And the taking off of these shirts in front of running cameras is tortue! And...and..." Now she cries. Cries and laughs at the same time." The intro of planet earth was PORN! And then, when I am finally 14 and can go to a concert, you run away! And all my friends, my family, everyone thinks I'm completely mentally disturbed because I can't stop crying for days and my first concert will be a total failure because the completely wrong guy is sitting behind these stupid drums and... I think I'm having a nervous breakdown right now, excuse me!“


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sex talk

Only now does she realize that there are no more turbulences, that there's still a hand on her leg, but it's not cramped anymore. The fasten seat belt signs are off. The man she just made a very peculiar declaration of love to is no longer white around his nose, but has quite reddened cheeks . And he looks at her very strangely. And her arms are still lying around him.  
Powerless she lets them slide down.  
„I guess that was really stupid!“ she wipes away the tears with the back of her hand. "Will you give me a cigarette? I have to smoke again urgently!“  
« No! »  
« What do you mean, no?“  
« No, I won't give you a cigarette, Leah, and no, you don't have to go smoking now! » He takes both her hands into his.  
„I was 13 when it tingled for the first time. She was black and beautiful and she was the singer of Chic".  
She understands. Quid pro quo!  
„I had her photo in my purse. She always wore those tight glittery dresses with the narrow straps, and every time I saw Chic on TV I hoped those straps would slip!“  
"What they never did!"  
" Which, of course, they never did!" He laughs and gently squeezes her hands.  
« Did you have a poster over your bed? »  
" No. Over my bed hung the cool, tough guys! She lived under the pillow!"  
" That's mean!"  
"It can be argued whether it is not meaner to nail someone to the wall than to put him under the pillow! Anyway, I loved her! I wanted to marry her and have children with her and I wanted to drum when she sang! And I was never allowed to go to a concert! And when I was 14, she married a ugly, disgusting guy! On that day I took out her picture and flushed it into the toilet! And I burned the posters in the garden."  
" Have you ever kissed her, Roger? The posters, I mean?"  
"Every morning and every evening! Until the day she got married!"  
" Have you ever met her?"  
" Two years ago. We were at some charity event!"  
"And? Did it tingle?""  
" Not a bit!"  
" Were you disappointed?"  
" Yes, very much! And you?"  
" What do you mean?"  
" Did you also burn posters and flush pictures down the toilet when he got married? "  
"No! And I didn't find his wife ugly and disgusting either!“  
" Did you destroy the posters when he left the band?"  
" Not destroyed, just mothballed. "  
Their special stewardess comes by again, gives them a radiant smile and serves coffee without being asked for.  
"How thoughtful," Leah says.  
"We probably look like two fucking tired people who rather want to die than get some sleep!" He still holds her hands and his thumbs start stroking her palms in circles.  
" Would you like to sleep, Roger?"  
"Absolutely not! You?  
" I^d rather die!“  
" Have you ever met him?"  
"Yes. A few hours ago. In a plane!“ her heart hammers like mad. He plays. And this game is incredibly exciting!  
" Did it tingle?"  
" It still tickles!"  
" Since when does it tingle?"  
"I don't know exactly! I think, since the food!" What his thumbs do there with her palms gives her shivers over the back. Comfortable shivers.  
"And do you still want to know what it is like to kiss those lips?“   
Oh God! Oh good God!  
" For the first time in my life I am afraid that I might regret a kiss!"  
He puts her right hand to his lips, first she only feels the draught of his breath, then a gentle touch. She doesn't pull her hand away.  
He looks her in the eyes all the time.   
His eyes are much deeper than any poster could have captured. Chocolate with golden dots inside. He starts kissing her knuckles. From the thumb to the little finger and back again . than he takes every finger, one after one, in his mouth,sucking gently and letting his tongue flutter against it.

From the thumb to the little finger and back again.  
Oh god! I^m going to die! 

She feels like melting.  
Finally he lets his hand, his hand with her^s in it, sink down. He takes a sip of coffee without letting her out of his sight.  
"Tell me what you are thinking!“ His voice sounds very dark. Good God in heaven! How exciting can a kiss on the hand be? How far can this game be increased here?  
" I think...I think I have never received a more promising promise than this!"  
" There are many ways to kiss, Leah!"  
" This one was new to me!"  
„How many do you think we can find? »  
Half past four. 5 hours to Bangkok.

„Considering the fact that we're on a plane with an awful lot of people in it and the fact that sex in plane toilets is still disgusting, the possibilities are relatively limited!"   
Her body doesn^t care about that, though. She feels like burning and her panties got wet.  
" Kissing, Leah, not sex!"  
"I don't know exactly where one ends and the other begins! I never thought my knuckles were an erogenous zone, for example!"  
"The whole body is an erogenous zone, but a lot of people seem to forget that.“  
"Most men above all!  
" That is an unfair, not applicable generalization!" Roger punshes her shoulder lightly." There are just as many women who forget that !"  
"Maybe! Well, it isn^t that easy when it comes to sex, huh?“  
" All you should do is be honest with yourself and your partner!"  
"Hard enough to be honest with yourself, especially if you have wishes you think of as strange!“  
" The difficulty is rather in the fact that one is afraid, the other could find it strange, right?"  
« But if you find yourself strange, it's very hard to communicate with your partner! Especially if you have already experienced rejection of things you have dared to reveal! »  
"I know what you mean! There are dreams, longings, which...let's say, lie beyond the norm,and with whom else than your beloved partner you could fulfil them ? So you have to open your mouth and talk about it !My wife's most popular sentence on this subject was:*You are so funny, Roger! For a moment I thought you were serious!*".  
Leah looks at him with big eyes.  
" My husband always said *Leah, you're not serious, are you?*"  
"So there are certain parallels, huh, Leah?"  
"That's reassuring! It shows you that you are not alone with this problem!" She laughs nervously.

„When did he say this sentence for the first time, Leah?“  
„You want to hear one of those strange wishes?“ Her heart stumbles a little, just like the plane did.  
"Yes! Please!“  
« Uh...I can't, Roger! »  
« Ok,then I'll tell you when my wife thought I was funny for the first time! »  
Of course he can tell her all kinds of things, he could easily make up something but somehow she knows that he's not doing that.  
"It was 1980. Gio and I had been dating for quite a while. My life was, as she used to say, molto perfecto! I did what I had always wanted to do and I could actually make money with it! I had this wonderful woman by my side and these really good friends around me! I was the happiest person in the world! If there hadn't been a little problem, I almost died of stage fright before every performance! I would have loved to take Gio with me on stage to sit next to me! Everything was good, if only she was with me! It was an afternoon before such a performance. We had sex, and it was somehow more passionate than usual. She was different, she seemed to be more open to experiences.!And then I had this idea, how i I could have her very close to me, later, on stage, her smell at least.“  
Leah exhales heavily because she notices that she was holding her breath all the time. She's one hundred percent sure what he's going to say! She knows it!  
He clears his throat.  
"You know what, Leah, you're right! That is really difficult! You will probably find it absolutely funny! Or sick!"  
" No, I find it neither funny nor sick, I find it very...uh...interesting!"  
"You still don't know what I want to say!“ Roger looks at her irritatedly interested again.  
"Yes, I think so!" The blood rushes into her face, and not only her face! What if she is wrong? What if he thinks she's sick? But she can^t be wrong! She has this picture, this idea, this thought so vividly before her eyes that she simply can^t be wrong! Because it is so comprehensible! So logical! So obvious!  
" What do you think it is?"  
Her face glows and her voice sounds very weak when she says: " You wanted..."  
His eyes darts into hers.  
" You wanted to put your sticksinto her. You wanted to fuck her with them, so to speak, and later you^d use those sticks at the show!“  
She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. Trembling she^s waiting for him to laugh .  
He is not laughing!  
"Leah!" he says." Leah, look at me!"  
" Oh God, Roger! Did I actually say that?" She looks at him in awe.  
"You said it and you were right! Damn it, Leah, how do you know?"  
„Well, I think it^s very soothing to have something with you that smells of the one you love, to hold something that is like a special connection to your partner. And since you are drumming and therefore have to hold the sticks in your hands... it's like this story with Clinton and Monica, with the cigar! I thought it was incredibly sexy! And if I had been Gio...I would have grinned the whole concert long !“  
"She didbn’t grin when i told her. She laughed herself to death! No, Roger, you are soooo funny!"  
" You're not, you're not funny! I mean, THAT's not funny! What do you think, Roger, what do you think the girls would do with the drumsticks you threw at them ? I mean, not all of them, but...then it's the other way around...so...then they have something that smells like YOU, what YOU had in your hand!"  
" You mean, there are girls who will use those sticks to….?"  
" You bet !"  
" Do you have one, Leah? " he grins devilishly and she just knew he^s ask that.  
"No! Unfortunately you never threw into my direction!"  
" And if I had?“  
" Would this trophy surely be in my bedside cabinet, even if you can't put batteries in it! "  
" Apparently I was with the wrong woman!"  
" There will also have been things she didn't find funny, will there?"  
" Sure, but that phantasy was in my head a lot. "  
" In mine too!" Argh! Please delete the last sentence! Thank you!  
" Was it?“ he grins even wider.  
" Yes...among other things!"  
" It's your turn, Leah!"  
" Would you like to hear fantasies in general or those about you ? "  
"Neither nor! I still want to know when your husband first said that you couldn't be serious!“ He takes her hand again and kisses her. This time his tongue caresses the skin between the knuckles, from thumb to little finger and back again  
"It was my birthday, the 19th birthday!"  
He starts to bite her knuckles gently before he let his tongue glide over them again Her voice broke,and she closes her eyes. Ooooh, I don't want to talk, just feel.  
„Leah. Go on!“ he whspers into her hand and his hot breath almost burns her.  
"I...we had dinner and we both drunk a little too much!"  
He takes her thumb in his mouth and sucks on it, licking it. Ah, goodness! Jesus! God in heaven!  
" We weren^t pissed like rats or such, we had opened a bottle of champagne at home..."  
Now it^s her index finger. He bites into it a little harder this time.  
" And we kissed, and I liked the taste and the...tingle of the sparkling wine when kissing and...I wanted...I asked him...."  
Suddenly his mouth is on her ear. I'm dying! I must surely die!  
"You wanted him to drink out of you, Leah! You wanted to feel that tingle inside you. »  
" Yes! "I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying!  
"What a ravishing, deliciousthought that is! His tongue pierced into her ear.  
Leah gasps.  
"What an idiot!" He nibbles on her earlobe.  
"He...said...he didn't want...to mess up the couch!"  
Roger pauses. He grasps under her chin and forces her to look at him.  
" He said WHAT?"  
"He doesn't want to mess up the couch!“ she looks at him with wet eyes. The thought of it still hurts.  
"I felt so...dirty! So...rejected!"  
"I hope you slapped this fool hard,Leah ! » He strokes her hair.  
"No, I started crying and went to bed alone!"  
"Oh Leah! That's terribly sad! You know what? Wait here, I'll be right back.""  
" Where should I go, Roger? " Even if I could, Leah thinks, I would definitely not go anywhere!  
She looks out the window. Everything black . 4 hours to Bangkok.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More turbulences

Time seems to be passing in slow motion. Just as she is considering whether Roger has fallen into the toilet, he comes back with a fully loaded tray.  
Chocolate bars, muffins, and coffee again. She has to laugh!  
Oral substitute satisfaction or what? Skilful transition to the topic Sex with food?  
« I'm hungry » he explains. » I thought maybe you are, too. »  
Nevertheless, she is surprised that he just got up and left, in such an intimate moment, when she would have wished he would hold her a little!  
As he slips onto the seat next to her, she sees that the hair on his forehead is damp.  
And he just folds down the armrest between them again. Something is wrong here!  
She blames this feeling on her tiredness and looks on the full tray for something she particularly likes to eat.  
« Cool, Bounty! Want one too? »  
"No, thank you, I don't feel like eating" he says absent-minded.  
Slowly she puts back the bar she was about to bite into.  
"I don't know what your problem is, Roger! But didn't we talk about honesty all the time? Did you tell me you were hungry and a minute later you didn't feel like eating?  
You took the armrest down again after you've stayed away forever, although it might have been nicer if you... " she hesitates. If he what? Held her, comforted her, kissed her? What does she actually demand?  
She folds up the armrest again and carefully puts a hand on Roger's shoulder.  
" What’s wrong, Roger? Please let me know!"  
"Leah, I don't know if you're aware...oh damn it!" He takes her hand off his shoulder and her face in both his hands.  
"I've never told anyone Leah, what i just have told you! And I feel like I can tell you anything! And...the moment I tell you, I want to do exactly what I tell you! With YOU! And when you tell me something, it's just like that...I...I don't know...you are so...so real! So close! I had a massive hard-on, Leah, thats it! I just needed a load of cold water in the face and I do not know at all where to go with all this testosterone! In addition you are a FAN, fuck,and somewhere in the back of my head hovers the unpleasant vision that I will soon be able to read everything I have told you in any fan forums or anywhere else! And on the other hand I want to tell you much more...I want to tell you EVERYTHING, because you UNDERSTAND me! I'm just totally overwhelmed right now, Leah! I want to listen to you and touch you at the same time, I want to tell you and be touched and every now and then I feel the need to rip your clothes off and do all the things we talked about so far! Including sex on this disgusting toilet because we are in a fucking plane!"  
Leah feels the blood rushing in her ears and the warmth emanating from Roger's hands slowly fills her whole body.  
"Roger...I won't tell anyone! And I...I understand what you mean, I'm also...I mean...I...it's so...ah..exciting to talk about all this! God, Roger! I still feel like i^m dreaming this!“  
"I wish we weren't in a fucking plane right now!"  
" If we weren't on a plane, all this would never have happened! And somehow it's better. Being in an airplane. Because nothing can happen! And at the same time it drives me crazy!"  
His hands are still holding her face, she puts her arms around his neck, he pulls her head to his chest." Do you hear that, Leah? Do you hear that?"  
His heartbeat. Very strong and very fast. She hears! And she can suddenly smell the man to whom this heartbeat belongs very intensely.  
His after shave. His sweat. His skin. She can even smell his arousal! Pheromones! Testosterone! He smells like sex.  
" You smell like sex!" She says, matter-of-factly.  
He buries his nose in the curve of her neck and breathes in deeply.  
" You too!"  
Her fingers dig into his hair while her face rubs against the fabric of his shirt. His strong hands grab her hips, and he pulls her onto his lap. He lifts her legs to the seat she was just sitting on. With her back to the hallway she sits now ,feeling a pair of strong thighs under her that seem to tremble slightly .He grabs her hair from behind and pulls her head back.With big eyes she looks into his eyes .Her own lust is reflected in the blackness of his pupils.Leah becomes very soft under his grip ,the black eyes have a hypnotic effect. His smell...his scent...his warm, sweet breath in her face! Their lips touch. First lip contact. She closes her eyes.His mouth is soft and wet .One hand slides under her blouse in her back,caresses her spine. He kisses the corners of her mouth,the tip of her nose, her closed eyelids. His tongue caresses her lips, they open all by itself, her lips . He breathes into her mouth and she inhales his breath, they explore each other, their tongues intertwine. She feels his teeth, a wild contrast to the softness of his mouth! He bites into her lips, sucks them into his mouth  
It doesn't hurt. Not in a bad way, though.  
That's a kiss! Perfectly passionate, hot, greedy. It promises so much! It makes so much desire on...MORE! Oh fuck fuck fuck!Torture! That's torture! Sweet, wonderful, terrible torture !  
His hands on her naked skin showing her that they would like to be somewhere else...his heat, his hardness throbbing against her buttocks....hit me with your rhythm stick...some people call it a one night stand....hungry like the wolf....aaaaah!  
Hungry they are, both of them! Greedy! And desperate! All that is in this kiss, in the touches. His fingernails scratch her back. It's good, it's right! She wants everything from him that is possible, everything!  
It is so much, and yet by far not enough!  
Her hands find the way under the fabric of his shirt, she feels his muscles under her fingers. He trembles She digs her nails into his flesh. More! I want more!  
The plane falls into a clear-air-turbulence. Falling, they^re falling ...A tremendous heat spreads in her abdomen, a few passengers scream as the turbulence has surprised them in their sleep. She screams too, but it isn^t for the turbulence. Roger's eyes widen even more, and a wheeze that almost sounds like a sob comes out of his throat. Her eyes fill with tears as she realizes what just happened. His eyes are also wet. Stunned, they look at each other, unable to speak.  
Leah just had an orgasm! Seriously! And Roger? She thinks he had one also.

It is the stewardess who brings her back to earth. If they want hot towels?  
Dazed, Leah slips from Roger's lap. No, she doesn't want a hot towel! He takes one. To lay it on his lap.  
Finally the flight attendantis gone again and Roger puts a trembling hand on her arm.  
"I am...I...I had...Jesus! I came right into my pants."  
" I know. Me too!"  
They look at each other.  
" Wow" Roger gasps.  
"Yeah, wow!"  
"My pants are wet!"  
" Mine too!"  
"Jesus!" gasps Roger  
"I don't think he has anything to do with this!" whispers Leah.  
" I can't believe it!"  
" Only flying is nicer!"Leah giggles  
" Very effective remedy against fear of flying! Damn me! Oh Jesus! I don't believe it! How is that possible?" He takes her hands and kisses them.Both of them.  
" Is that important?"  
"No! It's...it's incredible! it's fantastic! God, Leah !I've had sex without coming, but I've never come without sex!"  
" That was sex, Roger! "  
" It obviously was, but you know what I mean! "  
"Yes, I know! Which would confirm that 99 percent of the sex happens in the brain. I have to go to the toilet! I^m sticky!"  
" I'm coming with you!"  
" Oh no!"  
" Oh yes!  
" Smoking?"  
" Yes, smoking!“ They're smiling.  
Two hours to Bangkok.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy landing

In front of the toilet door Leah says: "Wait a minute outside, I really have to pee!"  
" Yes, and?"  
" Roger!"  
" Don't you think it's silly to be embarrassed now? "  
" I can't when someone's looking! "  
" I'm not watching, I just want to come in!"  
„You^re annoying!“ she sighs, pulling him in.  
The cabin seems to be even narrower than last time  
Roger stands in front of the sink and shovels cold water into his face.  
Surprisingly, she can pee problem-free in his presence, but when he starts to open his pants, her eyes get big.  
" What are you doing?"  
" What does it look like?" He turns to her with a grin, and she quickle pulls her pants back in place and closes them.  
" Roger..."  
"Leah! You surely have seen a penis before"  
« Yaah, but…“she whispers, unable to look away from his open zipper.  
My goodness, it's hot in here!  
"I should wash myself a bit, huh ? I just came into my pants, remember ?" explains the drummer.  
She blushes heavily. « Oh. Of course ! »  
She sits on the toilet lid and hears the water rushing .Carefully she lifts her head. He's still facing her .What he's washing there is covered by the towel that the stewardess just handed out. He looks at her with raised brows, quite amused.  
" What?" she blurts."What's so funny,Taylor?"  
" it's funny how hard you try not to look!"  
" As you've rightly said, my dear Roger, there's certainly nothing new for me to see! "  
He grins " Well then!"  
The towel falls to the floor.  
It takes a moment too long until her eyes turn back to her shoes.  
"Who would have thought..." she mumbles" Roger Taylor, an exhibitionist!"  
Roger laughs." Aren't we all, a little bit? By the way, I just saw you, too, in the mirror! Quid pro quo...still!"  
"How beautiful! Could you please close your pants now?“  
" How Mylady wishes!"  
She shrugs when suddenly he is right in front of her.  
He squats in front of her and hands her an already lit cigarette.  
"We'll be there soon!" he says.  
" Hmhm!"  
And i so don^t want to think about that right now!  
„The time has passed so quickly!“ Roger puts his head in her lap.  
Her fingers dig once again in his hair. She would have nothing against it, if they would fly directly to New Zealand.  
" Do you have a stay in Bangkok?"  
It makes her nervous how his breath blows over their thighs.  
„Yes, 4 hours.“  
" Can we spend them together, Leah?"  
She takes a deep drag of nicotine..Of course she wants! And then what?  
" I would be very happy to spend the 4 hours with you, Mr. Taylor! As long as it's not in an airport toilet!"  
Roger laughs quietly and then raises his head to look at her.  
" There's a hotel inside the airport building where you can check in for a few hours waiting for connecting flights.... "  
" Are you waiting for a connecting flight?"  
"Leah! I want to be with you!"  
" You want to have sex with me! "  
" Yes!"  
" And then what? "  
" Can you take your flight back over London and maybe visit me for a few days? "  
He really means that!  
" Roger...I don't know...I wanted to get away from everything and now everything is much worse! I^ve never been so confused in my entire life"  
"You have three weeks to find out what you want!"  
" Yes, you're right! What do YOU want, though?"  
" I want to see you again, Leah ! »  
" I want to see you again too, Roger! "  
" There is so much more I would like to tell you, Leah! "  
" Strange wishes beyond the norm?" she grins.  
He digs his nose into her lap, chuckling  
" Please don't do that!" She pulls at his hair.  
" Ouch!"  
" A few minutes ago that didn^t hurt you, Roger."  
" Well, sometimes the fine line between lust and pain is a bit blurry, huh?“  
"Sometimes it is like that, yes.“ She feels the scratches on her back.  
They look at each other for a long time, both with a little smile on their face .She notices how her eyes get wet again.Somehow it's all completely strange  
Roger Taylor squats in front of her in an airplane toilet. They just had sex.Or something like that, at least.  
It seems to her as if they have known each other forever.  
She's been looking into this face she's known for so many years, it's so familiar and yet so different.  
He is an attractive man, no question, but he is not the wonderful, dazzling hero he was to her.  
He's just a good-looking man in his mid 40's. He has wrinkles around his eyes and his legs are too short and his hair turns grey...but he has the most beautiful eyes in the world! His whole face laughs when he smiles! His voice is deep and calm .And his arms...how wonderful it is to be embraced by them! And it is really great to touch that hair! And his hands...she takes his left in hers. Look at it. Caresses it. Kisses it.  
This is so beautifully strange!  
They smoke a second cigarette, all busy looking at each other, ruffling each other's hair and smiling.  
There's nothing to say right now.after they took the last drag of their fag, Leah gets up and gives Roger her hand to pull him up. Then they stand in front of each other. They're almost the same size. They press their palms together..Their fingers intertwined. Their lips touch each other very gently. In the middle of her kiss, the *pling* of the seat belt signs can be heard.  
"Come, you quiet, shy drummer you!“ Hand in hand they go back to their seats When they pass that special stewardess, they order one last coffee with the resolution to drink it now, and when they get to their seats, Roger puts an arm around her, pulling her to his shoulder. She listens to the beating of his heart and breathes his smell. It's all like a dream. They drink their coffee in silence.  
A film about Thailand flickers over the on-board screens.  
Elephants . As in Sri Lanka. Save a prayer.  
"You don´t have to dream it all just live a day" whispers Leah.  
Roger laughs softly and squeezes her hand.  
" I don´t call it a one night stand!  
" It's more like a flight stand!"  
" No, Leah. The flight may be over soon, but this isn't!"  
" What exactly is this, Roger? "  
" I don't know, Leah! I only know that I don't want it to end!"   
"You really want me to visit you when I get back from New Zealand?"  
"I would be very happy if you would come to london to see me, yes. So if there are any problems with the flight...organisational or financial, I mean...call me, yeah? If you don't want to come, call me.Whatever happens, call me!"  
"Yes. I will!"  
" I can't persuade you to stay in Thailand with me, can I?"  
" Roger, I would love to stay with you, but...I swore to myself that I would do this! If I don't do it now, I'll never do it! And at some point I'll regret it, I know that!"  
"You shouldn't do anything you have to regret! But promise me that you will get back to me! »  
« I have already promised you that! »  
The pilot announces over the loudspeakers that the airport will be reached earlier than scheduled, because of good winds or something.

She's holding Roger's hand during the landing. He's holding it tight. He's not going to be so pale anymore.  
When the plane lands on the ground, Leah feels a peculiar regret. After what has happened in this plane, she almost has a kind of parting pain.  
When they get off the plane, they pass the whole crew.  
"It was a pleasure to have you on board" smiles the special stewardess and Roger kisses her hand, just shortly. „It was a pleasure to fly with you!" The lady blushes softly. Does she remember all kinds of washroom pleasures?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Airport Hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Hotel really exists, I have been there.

Hand in hand they walk to the baggage carousels. Roger fetches a trolley. Her own luggage is hopefully already on the right way to be loaded into the plane which she will board in 4 hours. Deep inside she doesn't want to fly any further. She wants to go swimming with Roger and ride elephants and visit temples, but then she thinks of beautiful New Zealand and the peace and quiet she needs so desperately  
"Where are you right now, Leah?" asks the man by her side.  
" In New Zealand autumn! Hell, it's warm here!"  
« The air conditioner seems to be broken! A shower wouldn't be bad now!“  
Yes! A shower! How beautiful! A shower together with Roger in a clean and cool hotel room !  
Roger drags three heavy suitcases off the rubber belt  
"Heavens, Roger! What do you have in there? Your drums?" And some DRUMSTICKS maybe? She turns red.  
" It^s mostly Ellea^s stuff. I'm not comfortable letting her fly alone anyway. Let her have it as easy as possible!"  
" Why don't you fly together?"  
" I had something to do in Germany and didn't want to fly back and forth so much. You know, fear of flying! "  
" Hmhm...sometimes there's turbulences, you wouldn't have thought possible!" she chuckles.  
"I only hope that I don't have an orgasm with every turbulence from now on!“ Roger laughs this great laugh and hugs her.  
"Why not? That would be very pleasant!“  
„I^m quite old-school. I prefer beds when it comes to sex!“  
„Ah.“ That^s all she can say.  
„Talking of beds…should we look for that hotel?“  
She clears her throat, nodding.  
And she notices why all this is so strange, apart from the fact that Roger is Roger.  
Being with him is an emotional roller coaster ride! Her feelings are constantly tumbling!  
Roger, the drummer of Duran Duran...wow!  
Roger, the man with the infectious smile.  
Roger, the friend...friend? YES!  
Roger the..lover? God, YES!  
Everything is so simple! Everything feels so right!  
But just because EVERYTHING feels right, her brain keeps zapping back and forth!  
It's like Roger said on the plane...she wants to talk...she wants to listen...she wants to touch...and she wants to be touched!  
And now they¨ll go to a hotel together. A hotel room with a bed in it…  
Hopefully they won't run around endlessly looking for that hotel, the airport is really big and busy !  
God, time flies so fast!  
"Leah?" The sound of his voice makes her flinch.  
" Yes?"  
" That's it" He points to a sign. Airport Hotel,paid by hour.  
" Oh!" Her knees are getting soft. „ok!"  
It^s not easy to get into the hotel, Roger is no transit passenger and at first the receptionist won^t let them have a room. Leah is close to break out in tears and she honestly explains to the man why they really really need a room now.  
Finally he pats Roger on the shoulder and lets them in. They get a room. One with a shower. And air conditioning. There is even a kettle and instant coffee.  
She plops onto the bed. „Hey, Roger! Finally we can smoke comfortably!"  
He hands her a cigarette, already lit again, starts the kettle and prepares the cups. « And coffee ! Ah, this is heaven, isn^t it?“  
She unpacks the candy bars she took off the plane. Roger sits next to her. She waves with the Bounty she wanted to eat hours ago.“Hungry, drummer?“  
„Oh yes! For you!“he says and bites into her earlobe. Pling! Brain zapping.  
" Roger?"  
" Hmhm" he mumbles somewhere on her neck  
"Drummers are not allowed to wear shirts!"  
" Eh?" Again that confused look! God, how she loves him! She has to laugh. Brain-zapping.  
She reaches for his shirt. " Take it off!  
" We^re very commanding now, huh ? » he grins.  
" I just have to check something! PLEASE take it off!"  
" I like it when you say please!" He pulls the shirt over his head.  
"And I like it when you take off your shirt! I've always liked it!"  
"Quid pro quo, Leah!" He opens her blouse. She strokes his chest hair. Not too many, not too little. Just right! The kettle whistles and she is terrified.  
He kisses her gently and gets up, pouring the boiling water into the cups, She can see the traces of her nails on his back, there will certainly be a few more when she^s on her way to Auckland! Pling! Brain zapping.  
Roger cautiously places the steaming cups on the bedside cabinet, takes his smouldering cigarette out of the ashtray and squats in front of her.  
He pushes the fabric of her blouse off her shoulders.  
He takes one last, deep drag and takes her cigarette out of her hand, stubbing out both butts.  
Heavens! Why can't I move ?  
He takes her hand, which still holds the half-eaten bounty and bites into it. into the bounty, not into the hand! He looks at her all the time, eyes darker than dark and deeper than deep.  
His hand reaches for her neck and pulls her head towards him. Chocolate-tasting lips lie on her mouth. His fingers in her back open the closure of her bra while his tongue pushes something warm and sweet into her mouth. This is insanely sexy. Explosion of the senses. Her taste buds are running amok.  
Again her fingers dig into his hair, he loosens his grip to be able to take her bra off. Again chocolate lips on hers. This mixture of man, nicotine, chocolate and whatever drives her crazy! Bitter sweet .Her tongue meets his . She melts like chocolate.  
His arms, the arms she^s been dreaming of for decades, embrace her, hold her and again she wants New Zealand let be New Zealand and fall asleep once in these arms, wake up with them around her just once. Because this dream is so old, much older than the dream of the Milford track. Because she suddenly has a terrible fear of being alone. A thought goes through her head: That^s not really happening! I^m dreaming this!  
In reality she fell asleep shortly after take-off in Frankfurt and she's still asleep...and soon the one special stewardess will come by and wake her up because there's food, and next to her there'll be some bald sweating businessman and...she'll open her eyes. No plane. No bald business man. ROGER!  
Roger, still squatting in front of her,his arms around her. Roger, whose tongue is still doing funny things in her mouth.Oh GOD THANK YOU! With a sigh of relief she lets her hands wander through his hair, then across his chest. Stroking his back, her nails follow his spine down to the waistband of his pants..He breathes violently into her mouth.  
Finally he interrupts the kiss and pulls her up from the bed. His hands find the waistband of her jeans and he begins to open the buttons. He kneels and pushes down the pants, while his lips and tongue are playing with her nipples, just like he did in the plane with her knuckles and fingers His hands glide down her bare legs and he opens her shoelaces. First the right shoe flies through the room, then the left, closely followed by the socks. The pants also land somewhere in the room.When the last of her clothes, a black, plain slip, joins the other clothes on the floor, she closes her eyes. Jesus! I am naked! He looks at me! He touches me!  
And he does, touch her, very extensively. Every inch of her body .Really every inch of it. Stroking hands, followed by kissing lips and an enjoying tongue. She stands motionless, unable to say or do anything. The world consists of hands, lips and this tongue.  
LEAH! Do something! Move! But her brain doesn't obey her. Not when his fingers disappear between her legs and still not when said tongue follows .Her legs buckle and strong hands lay around her buttocks to support her. Good Lord! What's he doing?  
She^s burning. There^s a ball of fire bouncing in her stomach.His hands knead her ass and his tongue does wonderful, unspeakable things.  
Finally she can move! Her hands grab his head, and she presses his head between her legs! It's been a long time since anyone's licked her, and even longer since anyone's done so fucking good! „Ooooh! Yes! Yes! Right there!“ She throws her head back. „ Don't stop! Please don't stop, please! Not now! Not..“  
The fireball explodes and her whole body starts to twitch uncontrollably. She falls back on the bed. Her legs tremble like mad. He lies over her in a split second, his mouth on her ear whispers things that no one has ever said to her.  
She flings her still trembling legs around him.The rough fabric of his pants rubs against her hot skin, and they are rolling back and forth on the bed, eager to feel as much of each other's bodies as possible. Her hands find his zipper but she's too nervous, too excited, too shaky.  
„Leah, let me do that, ok?“  
She looks at him with big eyes as now his shoes and trousers fly across the room. The underpants, boxer shorts, black, tight, land on the bedside cabinet, half in the coffee cups. This time she looks closely. As if she had never seen a naked man before. Damn, it feels like she has never seen one before!  
Roger just stands there and looks at her. A smile spreads across his face. His tongue tip runs over his lips.His eyes…goodness, his eyes! Sparkling !

"It's been a long time since anyone looked at me like that!" he says quietly.  
"It's been a long time since I looked at a man like that!" Oh, I can talk! What a miracle.  
Now that they're both naked, he feels very different, and she's almost a little reverent .Suddenly he's Roger Taylor again,the man on the poster.  
The one who's actually always lying next to her in her fantasies and dreams.  
What if she could never dream about him again? What if that was it?  
What if she^s just one of many? Why does she even think she's not?  
Damn it, Leah, be realistic! That's a fucking pop star!  
What if the whole fear of flying honesty quid pro quo stuff is just a scam?  
One that obviously works very well !  
But these eyes! This arms !  
"God, Roger, you smell so good" she whispers somewhere on his chest, and finally her hands dare to go on a discovery tour. He gasps words into her ear she only understands half of, but that doesn't matter! His voice alone is erotic! Even if she wanted to, she couldn't back off! She wants him! Even if this will be the first and only time! Even if she will start crying at every Duran song! If it will break her heart!  
Never mind!  
Now or never! You don´t have to dream it all just live a day!  
I want him !  
He seems to read her mind." Doubts, Leah?"  
" No!" she is surprised how definitely this NO comes and adds what she just thought: "I want you!"  
He gently but firmly pushes her away and takes his wallet out of his Jacket without taking his eyes off her. For a moment she has the senseless need to cover her nakedness, feels the fear that he might not like what he sees. Why did he get up?  
"I hate those things, but..." explaining, he holds a condom up. Of course ! Of course a bloody pop star has condoms in his wallet !  
"I hate those things too" she grins a little shamefaced "and I would have forgotten about it!“  
"Well, these things are not very erotic but probably necessary! » He sits down next to her and smiles that special smile.  
« Always prepared, Mister Taylor, aren^t you? So, is it a hobby of your^s to pick up fans in planes ? »  
Fuck ! This just came out, she didn^t want to say it.  
Fortunately, he seems more amused than angry.  
« Beware of such insinuations! You're a pretty young woman, who knows, maybe you're always picking up men in planes! »  
"Sure, I do it all the time, Taylor! I know every hotel on every airport in the world!"  
" I had a hunch!" Roger rolls his eyes.  
"Hmhm! I've got a list of reviews, so you better do your best!“  
"My best?“  
Unexpectedly he grabs her to kiss her hard. Like with a rubber band she is catapulted from level 5 to level 10 .  
She doesn't really notice him grabbing the condom, she doesn't really stay in this world anymore, only when he pulls her onto his lap and is in her at the same time she opens her eyes.  
They don't move, they just look at each other.  
His hands run along her spine to her butt and back again, to her neck and from there to her breasts. He takes her nipples between his fingers and gently pulls at them.  
„Jesus" she gasps.  
"My name is Roger!" He grins almost diabolically, and there are hot shivers running down her back. No more joking here now!  
His teeth continue what his fingers have started, and she throws her head back. If he didn't hold her, she would fall off him.  
His hips are rocking slightly, and she returns the movement, very slowly. Strong hands grab her butt and he begins to direct her. His mouth lets go of her nipple to find her mouth immediately. With still very careful movements they sink back on the mattress together and now she^s sitting astride on him. She wants more! Faster! Deeper! Harder! More of everything. But his hands are still holding her, directing her. He sets the pace, and she begins to resist his grip,  
Still they look at each other and Leah is incapable of turning her gaze away. Although it is strange to show him the lust that is undoubtedly written on her face. But she also sees his own lust in these dark, deep, now no longer gentle eyes. Their glances are no less than touches. Strange noises come out of her mouth. She straightens up, her hands resting on his chest, her fingers almost clawed in dark chest hair.  
Faster, please! She wanted to scream but she can^t.  
Leah doesn't know what to do with the intensity of her feelings, with the desire for ever more and more! Her nails dig into Roger's flesh and again she resists the firm grip. This time he lets go, and she smiles at the freedom of movement until his hands grab her wrists. He pulls her upper body down to him, until her face is very close to his.  
„My game, Leah! My rules!“ a whisper, deep and rough and dark.  
He doesn't move, holds her so tight that she can't move either, but she wants to move so badly it hurts! She has to move or she^s gonna die!  
He laughs quietly at her. It sounds amused and this time quite a bit mocking.  
„Not yet, Leah! Not yet!“  
She wonders why the hell she can't take her eyes off that face with the knowing smile. Something that sounds like a sob comes out of her throat. Again a quiet, mocking laugh .She feels caught.  
He loosens his grip just a wee bit jus to test if she has understood. She has understood. She doesn't move . His game. All right. His rules.  
"That's good" he says quietly, letting go of her wrists, grabs her shoulders and straightens them up again, then digs his nails into her back and pulls a trail to the right and left of her spine.  
„Aah!" the burning pain surprises her and she almost falls forwards on his chest, but he holds her tight, with his hands and his gaze. His hands finding her ass, he sets the pace.Her fingers are restlessly moving across his chest and the small golden dots in his pupils seem to hypnotize her.His tempo is getting faster. Her lips whisper his name silently, she'd love to scream, but that would somehow destroy the magic of their glance. His eyes widen, the dots in it are dancing like mad.  
„Now! Roger !Please!“ Leah doesn't know if she's whispering or screaming.  
Just as the fireball explodes in her abdomen for the second time that day, his flat hand hits her with a quick short blow on the right buttock, and the hot tingling sensation on her skin mixes with the roaring heat inside her, this time she definitely screams.  
He^s also screaming and finally she falls on his chest.Immediately there are these arms holding her, hands caressing her as they both stammer pointless stuff into their ears, lying there for quite a while, breathing the unmistakable scent of sex, listening to the fierce breaths and confused words of the other, holding on until Roger^s cock slips out of her.  
The most unromantic part of the damn safer sex! She slips off him and carefully plucks off the condom, knotting it.  
"I'll just go throw a bunch of little Taylors in the trash!" she smiles and goes to the bathroom on very shaky legs,throws the condom into the bucket and goes to the bathroom to wash her hands She does the latter with a certain regret. It's nice to have his smell on her fingers .Well, but actually it smells very unpleasant of latex right now! When she returns to the room, Roger sits on the edge of the bed and smokes. For her there's an already lit cigarette in the ashtray. Leah suddenly feels sad. There^s so little time left and she wants to say so much! she wants to ask so many questions!  
"Come here, Leah!" Roger stretches out his arms towards her and she almost runs in to them. Holding each other as tightly as possible they sit next to each other and smoke.  
Her head lies on his chest and he gently blows into her hair. She listens to the beating of his heart and notices tears running down her cheeks. Oh damn! I want to stay here! I don't want to go to the other end of the world, not away from him!  
Roger notices that she's crying and gently strokes the tears away with his thumb " Hey. Leah! Don^t cry!“  
Shit! Fuck! His tenderness makes it even worse!  
She sobs uninhibitedly into sweaty chest hair.  
Ok, Leah, you stupid bitch, let^s face it: You have fallen in love with your teenage crush, which is incredibly stupid because you have absolutely nothing in common and there^s no chance to be more than an affair, probably one of many!  
You don^t think he will take you to the fancy farm in Scotland now and you will live happily ever after, do you? Leah, you are really stupid! Tomorrow he has already forgotten who you are. You are just a petty, insignificant fan who was in the right place at the right time! Or in the wrong place at the wrong time!  
And now you're crying like a little child!  
She pushes him away violently, notices how the hysteria comes dangerously close. What is he doing to her? She can't think anymore! She wants to stay here and at the same time she wants to run away! That's all completely sick!  
„Sorry, I...I have to get out of here! I...my head ...I can't..."  
« LEAH! » he says sharply « Stop this nonsense! Look at me ! » Roger grabs her chin and seems to look straight into her soul.  
„You have to get out of here, yes, because your plane is about to leave! But I won't let you run away like this, Leah! I don't know what your head is telling you right now, but I can tell you what's in mine! I'm going to write down my number, my address. And as soo as your flight took off I'll go to the counter and book you another flight! I won't call you, and if you don't come in two weeks, I'll never bother you again! I want to see you again! I want you to be with me! Now tell me you don't want this, Leah ! Look at me and tell me you won^t want it ! »  
« I want ! I want it more than anything ! »  
"Where^s your problem then? Explain to me! I don't understand! »  
"I don't understand it myself! I am afraid" whispers Leah.  
« There is nothing to be afraid of, Leah!“  
"There is! I have fallen in love with you!" There, I said it! Honestly!  
" Do you think I did not fall in love? Do you really think that picking up ladies in planes is a hobby for me?“  
"Roger, I don't know that! I don^t know how many women you have, with how many you had sex or whatever! You are ROGER! You^re a fucking pop star!" Wait a minute! Did he just say he fell in love?  
" Leah, stop that shit I'm not a fucking poster! I'm fucking human and I have fucking feelings!"  
"And you say fucking a lot"  
They start to laugh. God, this emotional carousel is really enormously exhausting!  
"Well, what is it, Leah? Will I see you in London in three weeks?"  
" In two weeks, then, I only have three weeks all in all and I have to be home again iin three weeks. ^..“  
"Fuckin fuck, that^s fuckin great! May I ask for your mobile number, dear lady?"  
"Of course. Poster boy!“ she^s still not sure wether she wants to cry or laugh as she writes her number on the back of her boarding pass from Frankfurt.  
There^s no time left for a shower now, but she doesn^t care much because she can take his smell with her. He now writes his number and address on his boarding pass. „Roger..." she grins." Can you also write an autograph on it for me?"  
" That's not necessary, Leah, I carved my name on your back with my fingernails."  
For a fraction of a second she believes that. Until she hears his gurgling giggle.  
" You're totally crazy, Taylor! I almost believed you!"  
" if I'm crazy, dear Leah, you're no less crazy!" He carefully kisses a scratch on her back.  
"There is something to it!“ giggles Leah.  
30 minutes later they stand hand in hand at the gate.  
There's nothing more to say, so they just stand there and kiss each other.  
When she wants to free herself from him with a heavy heart, he reaches into his pocket." I wanted to give you something so that you would think of me!  
"Oh, don't worry, I certainly will!“  
"Well, I want to play it safe! You are a little unsteady, huh ? »  
With these words and a broad grin he hands her a drumstick!  
"You are an arrogant asshole, Roger! « She says quieltly but can^t stife a grin, though she^s blushing deeply.  
"But a nice arrogant asshole! And now off with you into the wilderness, you unsorted creature!" Now he has actually managed to make her go laughing and not in tears! Before going to the plane she turns around one last time. There he stands, Roger .She lifts the stick waving. He throws her a kiss Two weeks!  
As soon as the plane has taken off, it happens what she never thought possible: She falls asleep.  
And when she sits high above the Milford Sound at the fire the next day, she stares for a long time at the display of her mobile phone. She has to look at it as long as possible, before there^ll be no power left. She has already written it down. at least the part she will need in two weeks. Good old paper pad and pen.  
May 29th flight Auckland-London, via Sidney-Bangkok...Jesus, BANGKOK!..departure 22 o'clock. A night flight! She grins.  
And underneath:  
Life is too short to be afraid of yourself, Leah!  
Throw your fear into Milford Sound!  
I am with you.  
Can^t wait to see you again.  
Fear of flying, no not me ! :)  
Many kisses  
Roger

The display gets dark.

Finally she takes up the pages that she has written all day with all her fear, all her doubts and goes to the cliff. Then each page circles down into the Sound until it swims on the clear water of the Fjord. Yes, this is the right place. As the last page made it^s way down, she smokes a cigarette and feels really free for the first time in a long time.  
You don^t have to dream it all just live a day.


End file.
